Dealing with the Disobedient: 2 Thess Lesson 16

2 Thessalonians 3:13-15

Dealing with the Disobedient

 Next Sunday is the Sunday before Christmas and we will have a message from God’s word that will focus on that topic. We will take the Lord’s Supper next week. I hope it will be a service that appropriately and adequately prepares us for the celebration of the birth of our Lord. But today I want to go back to 2 Thessalonians 3. We are really close to the end of this letter. We will finish it soon. We will be starting something new as we begin a new year. Read 2 Thess. 3.

In this chapter Paul has commanded the Thessalonians to deal with those in the church whose lives were unruly. He defined the unruly, or undisciplined life as one that is not lived according to the traditions, or the truth he had delivered to this church. We learned from this chapter the importance of protecting the integrity and purity of the church. This was the reason for Paul commanding those in the church to keep away from the brother living an unruly life. We learned that there are proper steps to follow when dealing with a brother whose lifestyle is inconsistent with the word of God. These were steps outlined by Jesus in Matthew 18.

Paul has demonstrated in this chapter what good spiritual leadership looks like. To be willing to do what these believers needed to do to protect the integrity and purity of the church, they needed to see in Paul a leader they could follow. That was the emphasis of verses 7-9. 

Then last week we saw in verses 10-13 what Paul said about the importance of work. The primary issue of concern among the undisciplined and unruly brothers in the church at Thessalonica was that a few had stopped working. Either because they were influenced by the culture’s view of work, rather than the Scriptures, or they were convinced of the immediacy of the Lord’s return, there were individuals who refused to work. They were depending upon the others in the fellowship to feed them. 

Paul dealt with this problem by telling them the biblical principle regarding work. If a man is not willing to work, neither should he eat. God ordained from the beginning that man was to work for his food. Paul prescribed that those who were not working, but rather acting like busybodies, were to work and eat their own bread. I said that verse 13 stated the priority. The faithful were not to grow weary in doing good. I’m going to include verse 13 in the message of today as well.

As we have noted through our study of chapter 3, Paul is calling these believers to take some pretty drastic steps to deal with the problem people in the church. These are difficult things to do. Because they are difficult most churches ignore these instructions.

The difficulty comes when those with unruly and undisciplined lives are confronted and they won’t change. Those are the people that make spiritual leadership difficult. Those are the ones that make it hard for the church to take the steps described in verse 14. Let’s be honest. It can be hard to pull away from someone and refuse to fellowship with someone, especially someone we have grown to love. And because it is hard, we need to know how to do it and why it is to be done. Doing this is not optional. It is commanded by Paul. Doing it right is essential.

Doing church discipline correctly means doing it according to steps we learned from Matthew 18 a few weeks ago. Let me remind you that there are four steps in the discipline process. Step 1 is to go to the sinning brother privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. The goal of this entire process is restoration of the sinning brother or sister. So if they turn from their sin after step one the issue is over. Step 2 is taken if he doesn’t listen. Then you take one or two more with you. This is to establish the facts and to have the offensive behavior confirmed by two or three witnesses. If he or she listens and repents the issue is over and the sinning brother or sister is restored.

If the sinning brother will not listen to the two or three, Step 3 is taken. The issue is taken to the church. This is so that the entire fellowship may plead with the individual and pray for the person’s heart to change. If they will not listen to the church, then Step 4 is taken. The sinning person is to be treated like an unbeliever. He or she is refused fellowship with the church. Again, the goal of that process is repentance and restoration. If there is no repentance, these steps must be taken by the church. The integrity, purity and unity of the church are important.

The steps Paul calls the church to take in verse 14 would be Steps 3 and 4. He says, “If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame.” This is the instruction regarding the person who has been confronted individually, by two or three witnesses, and then the church and they will not obey the instructions of God’s word.

When it becomes necessary to exercise church discipline, there are some things the church must know. There are some things to which the church must be committed. Paul gives us three things in verses 13-15. Church discipline requires courage on the part of the faithful. It cannot be accomplished unless there is confrontation of the unfaithful. In all the process we never lose sight of the need for love and compassion in the way we deal with the sinning brother.

We begin with Paul’s call for courage. We find this call for courage in verse 13. Paul writes, “But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.” This is obviously directed toward the faithful. Having commanded the undisciplined to work in a quiet fashion and eat their own bread, Paul uses “but” as a contrastive conjunction to change the focus of his instruction from the undisciplined and direct it to the faithful. He calls the faithful brethren to not grow weary in doing good.

I say this is a call for courage because of the meaning of the word “weary.” When we think of someone who has grown weary we might think of someone who has just run out of strength or energy. But the Greek word translated “weary” is “ekkakeo.” It means “to turn out to be a coward, or to lose one’s courage.” It describes one who becomes fainthearted in the face of a trial or a difficulty. It can also describe someone who is remiss in regards to duty, and that would apply here as well. 

The mood of this verb is subjunctive. In the Greek this is the mood of potential or probability. In this particular use it is to be taken as an imperative. The idea is that there is a high degree of potential, even a probability, that you may be tempted to become fainthearted and lose your courage when dealing with the undisciplined brother, but do it anyway. Be courageous. Don’t become fainthearted. Don’t become a coward. Do what needs to be done. Do not grow weary of doing good.

We understand why Paul might need to call these believers to be courageous when dealing with those whose lives are out of line with the truth. We have already noted in our study of this chapter that this can be difficult. There will be some who will defend their sinful actions and accuse you of being judgmental. They will quote Matthew 7:1 in a heartbeat. That verse says, “Do not judge lest you be judged.” They will quickly point to the problem areas in the lives of others and question why they are being singled out. They may defend their rights to live as they want because they are under grace. There are many reactions to confrontation that can make it a difficult step to take. Paul acknowledges the probability of hesitance, but he says do it anyway. Do not grow weary of doing good.

Why should we avoid the tendency to turn our backs on sinful behavior in the church? Why should we be courageous enough to confront those who are not living according to the truth, but who want to continue to participate in the fellowship of the church? We have already established that we must maintain our courage and be committed to the integrity, purity, and unity of the church. The church is the bride of Christ and Paul spelled out clearly our Lord’s desire for a bride that has no spot or wrinkle or any such blemish, but that is holy and blameless. We must be courageous in the protection of the bride of Christ.

There is another factor to consider. Not only are we concerned with the purity of the church, we are concerned about the spiritual condition of the one who isn’t living according to the truth. We should not become fainthearted and turn a blind eye when a brother is sinning because his or her sin may be an indication of the fact that they are not truly born again. If they are not born again that means that they are on the path to an eternal hell. We cannot claim to love them or be concerned about them if we lack the courage to help them see the error in which they walk. If they get mad and reject us, then that’s their decision. We don’t allow ourselves to lose heart and grow weary in doing good because we genuinely care about them and their eternal destiny.

We will need courage. We must not grow weary in doing good. Our second point from this passage is confrontation. The courageous must confront. We read in verse 14, “If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person, and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame.” The word translated “take special note” literally means “point them out.” If people are outwardly and obviously living lives that are disobedient to the word of God, and they are involved in the church, they are to be pointed out. They have to be confronted. The courageous must confront those whose lives are not according to the truth.

This is the third step of the church discipline process. They are to be approached one on one. If they don’t turn from sin they are to be confronted by two or three. If they don’t repent they are pointed out to the church. Special note is taken of that person and the specific issue is revealed and the person is given the opportunity to repent. If they will not repent the final step is taken. The church is to not associate with that person. The word conveys the idea of don’t mingle with, don’t have fellowship with, don’t keep company with this person whose life is undisciplined and unruly.

The church is to refuse to associate with someone whose life is obviously not according to the truth. In the case of this issue at Thessalonica it would be fairly obvious. It would be obvious whether or not the brother who refused to work was going to work or not. If he was going to work and eating his own bread, he wouldn’t be showing up at everyone else’s house looking for supper. If he did refuse to go to work and showed up asking for food, the faithful were to refuse him fellowship. 

Paul dealt with a very similar situation with the church at Corinth. We have already referenced this situation in a previous message. The church at Corinth had not protected the purity of the fellowship. They allowed a man to continue to fellowship who had married his father’s wife. This was a scandalous sin and the Corinthians were not doing anything about it. Turn to 1 Cor. 5. Read verses 9-13. Remove the wicked man.

Paul told the Thessalonians to refuse to associate with this unruly and undisciplined brother “so that he will be put to shame.” We need to understand what Paul is saying. It sounds like the goal of this action is to expose the person to as much public shame and humiliation as possible. That isn’t the case. The goal of the entire discipline process is repentance and restoration, not public humiliation and shame. The word translated “shame” is the Greek word “entrepo.” It is a compound word. “en” means “in” or “upon” and “trepo” means “to turn.” The word literally means “to turn in.” It conveys the idea of turning inward. The hope is that the person who is put away from the fellowship will see the need to look inward and begin to feel the shame associated with his or her actions. The goal is inward shame which produces true repentance. If all the pressure applied only produces outward shame, then, if repentance is produced, it will only be outward repentance. We don’t want people complying because they are pressured to comply. This does not produce true unity.

The hope is that the unrepentant would understand the actions of the church, not as punitive but productive. If the faithful take a unified stand against the undisciplined brother, and he looks inward and honestly assesses the condition of his heart, hopefully he will be willing to repent and seek restoration with the saints. The goal of the process is repentance and restoration. But if the rebellious brother won’t repent, the faithful continue to withhold fellowship.

At this point someone may be wondering what would be included in the things for which a person might be deserving of confrontation. Paul tells us here that it is anyone who does not obey the instructions of this letter. I think Paul had primarily in mind the issue of those who refused to work. However, the confrontation of anyone living in sin comes under these principles of church discipline. If there is someone in the church who is living in disobedience to the word of God, that issue should be addressed.

This can become a challenge in the church. I heard this week that there are some churches in conservative circles that are exercising church discipline against members who send their children to children to public school. They believe it sinful to send your kids to public school. There are issues of personal conviction that should not be applied to everyone. I’m not sure that would be an appropriate reason to exercise church discipline.

This is the value of following the process. If one person confronts another person over an issue personal conviction, and the person will not listen, hopefully, when two or three go the facts are established and the person who initiated the confrontation accepts that this isn’t an issue over which we part fellowship.

Some may be wondering what would be included in the things for which a person might deserve to be confronted because there are some questionable things in your life. You can avoid being confronted by doing that yourself. Look inward. Do for yourself what the discipline process is designed to cause the undisciplined to do. Examine yourself. Is your conscience healthy? Is it properly informed by the word of God? Are you being sensitive to your conscience, or is it being seared because you are ignoring it? Is the Holy Spirit convicting you of your actions? If your conscience is properly informed by the word of God and you are being sensitive to it, and the indwelling Holy Spirit is actively convicting of sin and you are repenting of all you know that is not pleasing to the Lord, you are not likely to end up being confronted.

However, if you have stopped responding to your conscience, or your conscience is not healthy, and you are grieving the Holy Spirit and quenching the Holy Spirit because you will not repent, then there is likely something in your life that should be confronted.

Examine your life and the things in your life. Is there anything in your life that would cause you to be shamed if it was exposed? That would probably be something that you would need to be confronted about. Our sins have a way of being found out. Numbers 32:23 says, “and be sure your sin will find you out.” If something in you rlife, if exposed, would cause you shame, it should not be in your life. If you will repent before it comes to light then you don’t have to worry about dealing with being confronted.

Listen, every time we come to partake of the Lord’s Table you should confront yourself. If there is shameful, sinful, rebellion in your heart, and you are living contrary to the truth of God’s word, you should repent before you take those elements. This should not be taken lightly.

The purity of the church depends on biblical confrontation. It is far better for the church when believers respond to their conscience and the Holy Spirit and confront themselves and repent. When this doesn’t happen and their sin becomes obvious, the courageous must confront the sinful. 

When it has to be done, the final instruction comes into play. Verse 15 says, “Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.” This as a call to lovingly deal with people with compassionate concern. We are not to regard those who live undisciplined lives as enemies. This can be a tough balance to strike. This requires wisdom. We want the people to know that love is the motive behind our courageous confrontation. We want them to know that we love them enough to warn them of the end result of their sinful behavior. James tells us that every man is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lusts. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is accomplished it brings forth death. (James 1:14-15) Then James writes in verse 16, “Do not be deceived my beloved brethren.” There is no happy ending down any sinful path.

We admonish as a brother because it is possible for a brother to be deceived and fall into sin. Paul says to admonish him as a brother. The word “admonish” is the Greek word “noutheteo.” It means to warn, admonish, or exhort. To admonish someone is to help them take the steps necessary to bring about correction and conformity to the truth.

Biblical counseling is nouthetic counseling. A good biblical counselor will help an individual understand how the problem that needs to be solved is the result of the biblical principle that has been violated. The person being counseled is helped to understand what it takes to bring their lives back in step with God’s word. They are exhorted to turn from the sin and walk in truth.

Galatians 6:1 says, “Brethren, if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.” We have a responsibility to those who take the wrong path. We are to seek to restore them. The word “restore” conveys the idea of fixing something that is broken. We do this in a spirit of gentleness. We do it with humility. We do it with in love with compassionate concern for others.

James 5:19-20 also speaks to this. “My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” Again, we courageously confront the sinful brother because we love them and are concerned for them. There are no favorable endings to a sinful path. No one ever walks stubbornly down a path of sin and comes to the end and says, “I’m glad I did this.” Because we know this to be true, we courageously confront with loving compassion.

The church needs faithful followers of Christ who are willing to engage in the ministry of turning back those who stray from the truth. This requires faithful brothers and sisters in Christ who do not grow weary of doing good. They are courageous enough to confront. The courageous confront with loving, compassionate concern for those who are heading down a sinful path.

Let’s pray.